Ask These Four Questions before Filing for Divorce

Deciding whether you should end a marriage can be a confusing and overwhelming choice. It’s difficult to know whether you’ve reached the end of your ability to repair a relationship, and, if so, whether it’s the right time to file for divorce. Below, you’ll find some questions to consider before you file for a divorce. Ask these questions of yourself to learn how ready you are to end your relationship, and speak to a seasoned Hudson Valley divorce lawyer if you have additional questions about what it will mean for you to file for divorce.

1. Is there some change that could fix your relationship?

Think about whether there is some fix—perhaps to your communication style, domestic responsibilities, financial management, or child-rearing strategy—that would improve your satisfaction with your relationship. If there is, make sure your spouse understands and has the opportunity to find the solution with you to this problem. If you can’t think of a change that would restore your desire to be in the relationship, it may be the case that the relationship is no longer viable and it’s time to divorce.

2. Have you done all you can?

Sometimes we get so caught up in what our spouse is doing wrong (or not doing at all) that we forget to consider what we could be doing to help repair our relationship. Ask whether you’ve made your frustrations with your relationship clear to your spouse, and whether you’ve engaged in good communication practices generally to help you and your spouse get on the same page. If you haven’t, consider seeing a therapist to gain both an outside perspective on the reparability of your marriage, and to learn tools that can help you make those repairs.

3. Have you made the choice to divorce with a clear head?

Deciding to divorce shouldn’t happen when you’re in the midst of a heated, emotional argument. Take a cooling-off period after a fight to interact with your spouse normally. Make sure divorce still seems like the right decision even when you’re getting along with your spouse, rather than only when you’re fighting.

4. Are you prepared to file?

Before filing for divorce, make sure that you have access to the financial resources you’ll need both to file your case and to afford living independently of your spouse. Also be sure that you’ve spoken with a New York family law attorney about the process of divorcing in New York, and hire a lawyer whom you can trust to protect your interests during a split.

For assistance with a New York divorce or family law dispute, contact the compassionate and seasoned Hudson Valley family law attorneys at Rusk, Wadlin, Heppner & Martuscello, LLP for a consultation, at 845-236-4411 (Marlboro), or at 845-331-4100 (Kingston).